Chris – an unanswered question
This post is meant for everyone who knew Chris Erasmus.
As you all know, Chris commited suicide on his birthday, 15th of February 2010. That leaves all of us with a whole lot of questions, but the one that keeps popping up amongst those who knew him well, is: What should I have done to stop this from happening?
Any form of regret is a very unproductive emotion, since it is based on the hope that something in the present can be changed by dwelling on an event in the past. It is important to know that it doesn’t work like that. Chris is dead. We cannot change it.
In Chris’ case there’s even less cause for regret, because what killed Chris is not anything that happened to him. Everyone who know him well know about his sporadic attacks of depression, and about his choice to deal with it without medication. This is a decision that I fully respect, and I believe, in spite of how it might seem, that it was the best thing for him to do. Chris’ independence was very important to him, and a chemical crutch would’ve robbed him of it, and would just have made him feel worse.
Chris Erasmus, Über-rampokker. Go well. Devastating shockwaves are traveling through the sea of people who love you. Even though we regret that we cannot have you to ourselves anymore, we are relieved that you are rid of the monster (Dave says I’m talking shit, though). See you later, my old friend.